In the category: “I’ve tried my best, but this is how it is
There are a lot of things I’d like to be different that
aren’t. My chin for instance, or the fact that it has a tendency to multiply
itself. Or my dirty laundry, which I suspect of generating spontaneously, whenever
I start washing machinefulls of the stuff. And of course there’s winter, Bush,
human nature, etc..etc..
But the number one with great distance is my floor. Yes..my
floor. Actually it’s a bunch of pressed woodchips with pictures of wood on it,
but I call it a floor, okay? Indulge me.
It can not, repeat, can not be
I’ve tried everything. Vacuuming, silly swiffer-like contraptions,
reasoning with it, singing to it, cleaning the damn thing with a cloth on my hands and knees..nothing works!!
Every time I think I’ve finished cleaning it and start putting away the
cleaning equipment, something dirty pops up. A tumbleweed of dust flies by,
water streaks magically appear, and parts of it turn out to be darker than other parts… It’s driving me crazy!.
Even my mother-in-law’s magical stain-away-spray doesn’t
work and this is the stuff you’d use to turn Shamu into a white whale,
mind you..a sparkly one at that..
Today, against all reason, I gave it another try. I had
bought yet another mopping/swiffering device and had started to clean my living
room. I do not have a huge living room, yet after cleaning half of it the
device thought the better of it and broke down. It just released a pin from its
intricate wringing mechanism, made sure it was absolutely unfindable, and
refused to go any further. For this treason it was instantly abandoned to Siberia
(well, tossed on my snowy balcony in a fit of rage..but that’s close enough) And
I went on alone with my trusty wet cloth….life is hard.
On an even more uninteresting note; I have finally mastered
the lyrics to ‘la tortura’, which is listed in the top three songs for your
listening pleasure. It’s actually a pretty empowering song, if you listen to
the lyrics. Quite the contrary to the MTV video clip, which is enjoyable in an
entirely different way
.It’s about this guy who cheated on his girlfriend
and wants to be taken back and forgiven. To accomplish this, he tossing her the
lamest excuses in the world. And she is doing her bit by politely telling him to shove
off. Really fun. I’d love to spell out
the whole song for you here, but that probably wouldn’t amuse anyone but me.
Can’t resist giving you a nice quote though, here goes..
Yo se que no he sido un santo, pero lo puedo arreglar amor
(I know I’ve not been a saint, but I can fix it, baby)
No solo de pan vive el hombre y no de excusas vivo yo
(Not solely by bread shall man live, And I shall not live by
Solo de errores s’aprende y hoy se que es tuyo mi corazon.
(One only learns from his mistakes, and today I know that my
heart belongs to you)
Mejor que guardas todo eso a otra perra ese hueso y decimos
(You’d better keep all that. Throw that bone to another dog,
and we say goodbye)
Neat huh, although perhaps not the most elegant of
translations . There’s a bunch of other stuff, where the guy goes: ‘well I can’t
help it, I’m not made of stone’ blah blah blah..:) Gosh..lame!
Nice detail to listen for is the part where they sing ‘es
una tortura, perderte’, which of course means ‘it is torture to lose you’. When
Shakira sings it the first time, as a solo, she sings ‘fue una tortura’, which is the past tense ‘it was torture’ signifying in the beginning of the song that she’s
already over and done with this guy, and that, for all his supplication (even
in his OMG sexy!! voice) he doesn’t stand a chance of being taken back.
Okay, so this has been an extravagantly long blog. Sorry
guys, I’ll do better next time…
PS: Black Books is on TV!! On Canvas! Wheehee!