I think He’s trying to tell me something..
I like to plan my week meticulously, especially when at the end of it, my parents are coming to stay over. So.. of course I get a fever over the weekend (which, btw was also planned meticulously and ended up going meticulously down the toilet). Monday, I feel like I’m recovering and start planning all over again.
God smiles and goes: ‘you should learn to listen’
In the middle of the night I wake up with my ear throbbing with pain. So I get the bright idea of sniffing some salt water to clear the sinuses. While I prepare the salt water I am reminded of the scene in Casino Royale where Bond mixes the salt water to get rid of the poison. I smile, sniff up the salt water and my nose feels like it’s burning off. Too much salt. A line of fire burns from my nose, past my ears and into my throat, and I swallow. I repeat this a couple of times (with a watered down solution of course) and walk back towards my living room. I start coughing, and to amuse myself during the coughing fit I think off the Bond movie again, then, just before the coughing fit shows its true colors (literally), I remember the salt water.
Great, so there I am with a huge ear-ache and vomiting in my living room, and being VERY pissed off at God. After two nights without sleep because of my ear, I finally get a doctor on the phone who tells me to get a nose spray at my local pharmacists, something I could have done two days ago. So I’m thinking, I’m okay now, got the nose spray, no more fever, I’ll get better just in time to get everything ready and.. and… “Mhuhahahah” thinks God, “I don’t think so”.
POOF!, goes God
And there I am, waking up the day before my parents arrive, not only unable to open my eyes because of the crispy crust of stuff my eyes produced in reaction to the nose spray but also, as a lovely encore.. unable to speak.
Some people might argue I must have coughed myself hoarse or something, but personally, I blame God.
So, listen Big Guy, if You want to tell me something, fine, but can you kinda skip the practical jokes and get to the point in the regular, parting the clouds thundering sort of way?