Jealousy and Dressingrooms

I am jealous..

I’m jealous
of people who enjoy sports. You know.. who actually look forward to the
activity. These really great looking people that are good at stuff like hockey,
volleyball or some other ridiculously useless sport. You see them walking
around all happy and sweaty and wearing the same uniforms and being slapped on
the back by other happy sweaty people.

It’s not
fair.

Today I am
supposed to go to this ‘Body Workout’ thing again. My colleague, who is cute
and lithe and skinny and always knows what to wear (gosh that makes me soo mad!),
 is making me go with her. Why she would
ever think she needs to work out is beyond me.
But this time I am prepared. I brought a towel and a black shirt to go with the
red pants to get rid of the pyama-look. Feeling a little less self-conscious about my shoes. AND  I am wearing carefully selected underwear to
avoid more dressing room awkwardness.

Dressingrooms..
 also known as the ninth circle of hell.

And I’m not
talking those Hollywood sparkly individual dressing rooms. No, these are the
large generic tiles-and-benches kind of places where there’s always too many
people.  And if a bunch of unfamiliar women
crammed into one place  isn’t bad enough,
they tend to be naked in the most unsuspected patches of your visual field! AARGH!

I mean, you walk in and you’re looking
straight at someone’s naked butt, you try to look away only to get caught in
someone’s bra,  disoriented, you grab for
support…

Watch where
you grab… is all I’m saying

And all
these girls are skinnier and better looking, and they look like they’re really
good at sports.
That’s it, I’m changing in the bathroom from now on.

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