Evil Pants

And here’s another weight-loss cliché.. I found those Pants.
Remember the pants lurking in the back of your closet? The ones you
find and think: ‘I remember those!’, ‘I used to wear those…’ And you
start wondering why you ever stopped wearing those nice pants.

And that’s where you should just let it go and walk away..

Walk away!

And you never do.

While the little voice in the back of your head tries to warn you that
it’s not sure those pants are even yours and that they look dangerous
and that you have so many other nice pants to live for, you take the
pants from the shelf with unworldly, glimmering eyes. From that moment
on you’re doomed.  The little voice gets jugged in the head by your
weight-loss demon that lives off disappointment (you know, the one that
wants you to get on the scales all the time). It wakes your little
puppy of hope with evil intent…

‘Go on, boy, you can do it!, good boy!’
Your puppy of hope yips and jumps around at the demon’s urging
‘Come on!, go ahead’ , the demon croons, ‘Try it on, who’s lost a lot of weight then?, go boy!’.
‘Yip!’ ‘Yip!’, pant.. dribble..

You slide one leg through, and feel the tightness starting around the
knees.. ‘…too early!..ghh.. it shouldn’t be the knees!’ sobs your
little voice (now squashed against the back of your head) . You already
know it when the next leg goes in, but all reason has left the building
long ago. It’s tight around the knees, it’s tight around the thighs,
it’s tight around
And then mercifully, the button pops off and ricochets around the room.
The puppy of hope runs away squealing and cowers in a dark corner.

Yes people.. beware of these evil pants, they’re everywhere these days..

All kidding aside.. we all have a pair of evil pants like these. And
more importantly…we used to fit into them! And when we did, were we
happy about our bodies?I know I wasn’t. I don’t remember ever feeling
pretty or thin in high school, while I certainly wouldn’t fit into
anything I wore then. And the pants I described to you aren’t even that
old, what two years maybe? So why wasn’t I happy about my figure back
then, when I would jump for joy if I’d fit into them now? What a waste.

I guess what I’m saying is: losing weight is really great and you
should definitely go for it. But don’t forget to feel pretty and good
about yourself today. Otherwise, what’s the point?

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